Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Trailer Recap....

so it starts out "Bumblebee, you are to dumb for college! And then here mom proves SHE is to dumb for College, and Dad is to CHEAP for college, so only the annoying kid from the first movie goes.

And then you ask yourself “is Meghan Fox wearing Panties ion that shot? I don’t think she is. Can not quite see….. NONONONONONO DON’T GET UP!”

And then it is the annoying kid again and he drops the last chunk of that rubiks cube. And then it becomes a discovery channel special on Egypt, or Cyberton I do not know. HOLY CRAP IS THAT A FACE!

And then same starts writing on the chalk board, and stabbing the ground and then you hear Optimus Prime?

HOLY CRAP IT IS OPTIMUS PIRME! HOW DID THEY GET HIM BACK? His contract after the first movie had to be outrageous!

And he goes “I have not been honest with you Sam” is that the kids name? I never really cared. And He Goes “it is not my war” which makes me think he is going to die! Wait a second, wasn’t stuff blowing up by now?

BOOM BAM BANG thumpthumpthumpthump

Ah there we go, all better now.

Stuff is always better with explosions. WAIT WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? It looks like a Decepticon on a unicycle. EXTREME UNICYLING IS AWESOME! Yes it is a real sport. Or it should be.

And now we see bumblebee has two friends, I hope they die. I miss Jazz. And then that guy from the usual suspects ask that kid “does this look familiar?” and plot tries to get in the way of a good trailer.

And then we are underwater, and four big Decepticons surround Megatron. And one of them is HUGE, like just as big as Megatron. And on the third year MEGATRON SHALL RISE FROM THE ABYSS! And he looks like he has taken steroids! He was huge as it was but now…. Holy crap he is huge! And he has a really big gun and every thing and he sneaks up on this girl.

HOW CAN YOU MISS A 30 FOOT TALL ROBOT!? ARE YOU BLIND?

But now it is back to the trailer. BANBG, BOOM, ZAAAAAAP, KECEWL, ZOOM, VROOM!

Crying and ownage, and that stupid kid is in a flying audi. I think it was thrown. Please die kid. Or get arrested at Walgreens again.

And opttimus gets in the fray, dueling up on blades like Samuel L Jackson. But he gets pwned. And then “Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.”

And a bunch of scenes flash and then……


WHAT THE HOLY JESUS BLUE FUCKING MONKEY CHRIST IS THAT????