My Wife is pregnant, due in August. The prospect of becoming a father is scary enough as is, and other people only make it worse. For the past four months, if I have not been bombarded with congratulations from people I can barely fucking remember, I am given stories anecdotes and parenting advice.
Just what I need… parenting advice from mediocre parents. You know who has given me the best parenting advice so far? My buddy Jazz, by that I mean he slapped me on the back, said “welcome to the club, you are fucked,” and handed me a beer. Of course the worst parenting advice I have been given has come from my own parents… I know how their advice turns out, and I am not impressed.
It has been worse for MrsArbiter. Since she is starting to show people have been rubbing her belly, and been flowing with their self important bullshit. It has given her fits of homicidal rage where she actually has managed to kick my ass in Battletech and Halo recently. It makes me want to turn her into the She Hulk of pro gaming.
So I must plead with you, my fellow miscreants. Do your preggy friends a favor. If she is past the first trimester, stop offering congratulations, stop telling stories, and stop giving out unsolicited advice. Offer support and encouragement, well wishes, and beer.
If you really want to do something for new parents, offer them money, cause I am finding out how just expensive kids can be.
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Please, I appreciate and value dissenting opinions but lets not make it personal.