House Crap

Seven days, Our House was on the market a grand total of seven days, and it sold. in this market that has to be a god-damned record. We Close in August, which means a few social plans I have will not be derailed, thank goodness.

now we have to find a house to live in after closing though. Mrs A and I will be looking at places today that are in our top 3. I plan on making an offer on one of them, just to get it out of the way.

for those not in the know, buying a house is a lot like bidding in an auction. you NEVER offer what the seller is asking for. depending on how things are going, you offer a small but substantial discount. some will say 15% lower, some 10%, my agent says 5, I call him a wuss. then it is a bunch of haggeling back and forth before you and the seller come to an agreed upon price. then the fun starts.

see even though you agree on a price the place is not sold yet. you hire a house inspector to "kick the tires" and see if there are structural, wiring, plumbing defects, stuff that is dangerous. the kind of crap people hide with a fresh coat of paint. like Chinese Drywall.

after the inspection you get a list of "crap that should be fixed before you move in. you go to the seller and say "not only do I have to pay for the place, but I have to spend W dollars to fix X, Y, and Z. so I say either you fix it, or you discount the price to fix it off of the sales price."

depending on how desperate people are to sell they may agree or they may tell you to buzz off.

wash rinse repeat until a final price is agreed on and SOLD the home is yours. the process is not for the weak willed or faint of heart. I would also say it is not for the arrogant or bored. it can best be described as a poker game. you bluff, up the ante, and try not to blink or sweat.

I got the person to buy my house to blink, and he was sweating. Time for phase II. more to come later