Airline security

So I travel pretty extensively. In my 27 years of life I have set foot outside of an airport in 38 of the 50 states in my beloved USA, as well as traveled to Canada, Mexico, the Virgin Islands, and been on boats in three oceans. I have family in Alaksa, Arizona, Wyoming, Geogria, Massechussets, California, Colorado, Utah, and Idaho.

I would argue despite my lack of international credentials that I am more well traveled then the average American. And to get around, I usually fly. In my youth I enjoyed the ritual of flying. Sometimes it was a hassle to get up at 5:30 to make a 7 am flight, but it was always a positive experience. At least until 19 crazy Saudis decided to take piloting lesions in the middle of their international flights.

For the past decade now, the experience of air travel has degenerated to an experience that for many people around the world has shifted to a very negative experience. This can be divided firmly into two categories, the first being that Airlines, in their cost cutting measures, are taking away from the service and comfort of their customers. The second is governments, particularly the American government, is intentionally suspending the liberties of Passengers for the sake of the illusion of security, as they respond to the LAST threat that has hit air travel, rather then attempt to be proactive.

There have been two news items that recently have made air travel such a tremendous pain in the ass that I am on the verge of refusing to fly until such restrictions are lifted. The first and most humorous was that actor/director Kevin Smith (known for his View Askew films like Clerks) was kicked off a plane because he was too fat. His girth was unable to fit in a seat according to a flight attendant (which is a misnomer these days, because they really do not do anything). Never mind that Smith, who is a self proclaimed “fat ass” bought two southwest seats cause it was cheaper then flying first class elsewhere. Never mind that he was forced to give up one of those seats so a person on stand bye could make the flight. Because Smith could not fit his waist inside a seat 17.5 inches in width, he was booted and given 100 bucks for his trouble. (Never mind the cost of the two tickets was probably close to a thousand dollars.)

The second story is that the Transportation security agency, in an effort to deter and prevent incidents like Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s attempted bombing of a Christmas day flight over Detroit, is going to begin swabbing the hands of random passengers to detect explosive residue, thus adding another 15 minutes of security screenings that mean nothing, and that the flying public is expected to accept and “deal with” for the illusion of safety.

The first story I have little to fear from, since I am a man of average girth. I do have to say though those tiny seats that are on airplanes are uncomfortable as hell though. About the only full blown seat that I have seen on a passenger ferrying vehicle that is smaller then a typical airline seat is a device in Kia SUV’s that advertise that they seat seven people (the seats in those case are ten inches wide in the back, and the front has bench seats for three people). It is a greater symptom that Airlines are forgetting that their passengers are paying customers. With the advent of “strategic partnerships” between airlines and the mergers of others though, there is no competition that can take place between them, and the competition that does take place is in Cost cutting being extended to the passenger, thus removing frills all the way down to beverage service. No airline is willing to try and be upscale. No one is willing to advertise themselves like Makers Mark advertises the Bourbon. “It tastes expensive ... and is.”

I want to see a mainstream Airline that is unapologetic about their prices, because they let you check bags without an extra fee, give you a blanket and pillow without you asking and offers seats the size normally found in Caddilacs. If someone knows of such an airline that serves the whole nation, please let me know.