Where have all the badasses gone?

Bullying is a perennial topic these days in the media and at dinner tables. As someone who in high school was brutally bullied, my heart always goes out to the families of teens who decide they can not handle it and turn to suicide.

The most recent example, one Jamey Rodemeyer of Buffalo New York is turning attention to a federal level though, and we are staring down the barrel of federal anti bully legislation. That we have to rely on federal regulation to force school administration and parents do their fucking jobs is beyond tragic to me. It shows a colossal failure of both entities to keep up with the technology that took torment to such an outrageous degree.

The common thread that I keep seeing is that teenagers are no longer safe anywhere. That people who chronically bully them are on social media doing it, and occasionally breaking Stalking laws and following them home. The specific torments are nothing new, usually relating to sexuality. But what shocks me is what is absent.

What I don’t understand is why the victims of bullying don’t rage out and fight back, violently if they have to. Particularly if the torment gets physical. Where is the rash of Zangief Kids out there? Where are the kids who have had enough, hit the gym, and go from Bruce Banner to the Hulk? I hate to ask this but where the fuck are the kids that get so angry that they externalize that pain and do something even worse?

I hate to go back and blame the Columbine Incident, but something happened over the past decade where kids were brought to believe that lashing out violently at people who are going out of their way to torment you is not the answer. Despite the above statement, I am not advocating a rash of bullied kits bringing shotguns to school, but I certainly think a few months at the gym followed by breaking some faces is called for. I want to see Gay-Strait alliance kids form a little muscle in their group, and deliver some Archie Slaps to the insecure fuckheads that think its okay to pick on others so THEY feel good about themselves.

Violence against bullies should not be the first solution by the bullied, but I think we need to adapt the student culture so it returns to being a viable solution. If it isn’t, and teens continue to think they have no other option but to be powerless and rely on other people, then they will behave powerless and rely on other people. The future will be dim indeed if that happens.

Really?

Once in a while I come across something that I find just about everything wrong with. Not even an instance where I can say- “Well isn’t that cute??? BUT IT’S WRONG!!!!!” this morning as I plopped down at my desk at work and did my morning wind up, I ran across this article on The Escapist.

That led to the source article, which already got my blood boiling as is. A woman buried a potential relationship in two dates simply cause a hedge fund guy played Magic the Gathering. Despite the fact that this was Jon Finkel, the Magic World Champion, I honestly feel like that had very little to do with it, so much as the mere presence of cardboard crack in his life.

But that delicious main course of “Girl bails on a guy cause he is a geek.” Is just that, the savory ribeye to a glorious meal of hate. I want to talk about the other things she did in this story that piss me off

First was the shame that she approached dating online, using OkCupid. In my life I have had a few relationships going to “date rapey bars” and hang outs. I even went to a girls church just because I wanted to know if her boobs were real or not. I think it speaks volumes though that the woman I married, and have a son with, I met online.

The mixture of shame and fear of finding a person through a largely anonymous dating site just does not register to me. Granted women who go to these sites, don’t act creepy, saying things like “Cut the crap Hamlet.” If you ask me I think it sucks that most women set up free profiles and a “take a number” box. It makes me wonder if women get a perverse kick out of making men suffer to try to prove that they are good enough to even get the chance to see them in person. I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that it is the same way for websites that are similar but for… other purposes.

So here we have a woman who already is doing something she does not want to do, and being a total twat to people because she has not bothered to cancel her account, That is Strike Two to how she treated Mr. Finkel’s Strike One. A nice Caesar salad in this meal if you ask me.

The Second thing I want to talk about is the date itself. Now in Alyssa’s defense, she did not say how the date was agreed to. If they agreed to dinner and a show, and Mr. Finkel purchased tickets to Jeffrey Dahmer on Broadway without saying “how about this” that is on him. But part of the lesson here is that if you expect to be swept off your feet by a well hung Dudley Do-Wright on a palomino horse on the first date, I think you need a brief lesson in real life.

In an online dating situation, you got two people busting through imaginary social stigma, and their own insecurities to meet up with each other. The only information the have is their name, and if they are smart a criminal background check. In any first date you should be prepared for everything. By everything I mean Chinese food to bad movies, to heels breaking, and the possibility of drinking too much. If Magic the Gathering has players nicknamed Johnny, Timmy, and Spike, Dating has your, Ted, Marshall, and Barney

Ted is the guy who plays it cool, but deep down wants that long term relationship, ultimately involving you in a white dress.

Marshall is timid, but ultimately wants the same thing as ted, maybe with a little to much more focus.

And Barney is… Well he is Barney.

So Strike three, and a lovely twice baked tater on you Miss Bereznek. Sure there is the wine and the spinach I could have discussed to, but this fine meal of hate should stick to the staples.

Some things Just do not need to be...

WHY GOD WHY!!!!!

Look, here is the thing, I am a Halo fan. I was first exposed to Halo combat evolved when my brother and I simultaneously split with our respective girlfriends and in a huge bout of male sympathy, I had my first beer with my dad, we went out for burgers and ended up buying a Microsoft X Box and half of its launch library. Halo was the only thing that stood out. While its level design was not very impressive, it did a lot of things to the First Person Shooter (which I was still calling Doom Clones) that were impressive. A regenerating health bar, the ability to only carry two weapons, use of grenades as an action instead of a separate weapon. Halo took a lot of ideas from various other shooters and melded them into a perfect experience.

Halo as a fictional universe has a core trilogy, surrounded two (later three) main characters on a quest to save the galaxy from Religious arrogance, I mean space bugs. It was rich in allusions to Biblical, Torranic, and Islamic scripture. It also had elements of Greek myths, Chinese fables, and even King Arthur, particularly the ending of the core Trilogy.

RIGHT THERE! The hero who saved the world is presumed dead from his crusade, and is being escorted by the Lady of the Lake to sanctuary until he is needed again. Bang! Fineto! Done! story is closed, yes there was allusion to further tales, but really we did not need them. If the Halo Universe was to survive, it should have done so upon its own merits rather then trying to artificially drag out a long gone protagonist’s story.

And you know what pisses me off more then anything else. I am going to buy it! I am going to play it! And I will probably enjoy it despite the inevitable glaring faults.

Regional arrogance

I want to talk to you about something that has been bothering me for close to two decades now. And it has reached a turning point with me thanks to something my friend said. Sociologists will tell us that there are two major types of areas human beings live in, broadly defined as Rural and Urban.

Rural communities are defined by large land holds with spares populations, usually dominated by farmland and their adjoined homesteads. Urban communities likewise are surrounded by commercial real estate, and very dense populations, where large homes sit on a single acre. This is all well and good. We have rural sections, and Urban sections of the united states.

What bothers me is this prevailing attitude where entire regions are defined as Rural, or as American English states “country” despite the fact that these regions have well developed urban areas in them. Now don’t get me wrong, Montgomery Alabama is nowhere near as large as New York City, But the city is certainly larger then say… Madera California. Yet by virtue of Montgomery being in Alabama, and Madera being in California, in the United States, one is country, and the other is not and it is not based on population.

I would like to thus call bullshit on the United States of America.

It seems to me that this attitude has it’s origins in the American Civil War, with the us vs. them mentality that the American south has with the rest of the world. The amusing part is that from Kansas on west, who almost had no part in that unfortunate conflict, the group seems to be stuck in the idea of being part of “the north” and thus not “country.” At the very least, regions like Wyoming, Montana, and the Dakotas, arguably the least populous states in the union when compared to Georgia, Kentucky, Arkansas, and Tennessee, barely get recognition from “country folk” elsewhere.

I wish I could say that this behavior was limited to folks in the south, but there are urbanites who have a bit of regional snobbery to them as well. Famed Comedian Andrew Dice Clay once said “if you live between New York and L.A. you’re a fucking farmer!” I went to college with a girl from San Francisco, who was amazed when I took her to Kansas City that there were buildings “taller then five stories!” and multi BILLION dollar business located there. My entire college life I have surprised folks from towns smaller then my home who expect me; because I lived my entire life in the geographical center of the lower 48; to wear cowboy hats, talk with a southern drawl, and listen to nothing but Keith Urban and Garth Brooks.

The people of the United States need to wake up and ditch the damned regional stereo types. I am sorry but if you moved from Kansas City to Montgomery, that does not make you a country gal, and if you want some fresh air, taking a vacation to Kansas City from Las Vegas will only net you moderately less pollution.

Urban Areas are Urban Areas no matter the region, same with Rural, and I think it is high time we address ourselves and our regions as such.

Airline security

So I travel pretty extensively. In my 27 years of life I have set foot outside of an airport in 38 of the 50 states in my beloved USA, as well as traveled to Canada, Mexico, the Virgin Islands, and been on boats in three oceans. I have family in Alaksa, Arizona, Wyoming, Geogria, Massechussets, California, Colorado, Utah, and Idaho.

I would argue despite my lack of international credentials that I am more well traveled then the average American. And to get around, I usually fly. In my youth I enjoyed the ritual of flying. Sometimes it was a hassle to get up at 5:30 to make a 7 am flight, but it was always a positive experience. At least until 19 crazy Saudis decided to take piloting lesions in the middle of their international flights.

For the past decade now, the experience of air travel has degenerated to an experience that for many people around the world has shifted to a very negative experience. This can be divided firmly into two categories, the first being that Airlines, in their cost cutting measures, are taking away from the service and comfort of their customers. The second is governments, particularly the American government, is intentionally suspending the liberties of Passengers for the sake of the illusion of security, as they respond to the LAST threat that has hit air travel, rather then attempt to be proactive.

There have been two news items that recently have made air travel such a tremendous pain in the ass that I am on the verge of refusing to fly until such restrictions are lifted. The first and most humorous was that actor/director Kevin Smith (known for his View Askew films like Clerks) was kicked off a plane because he was too fat. His girth was unable to fit in a seat according to a flight attendant (which is a misnomer these days, because they really do not do anything). Never mind that Smith, who is a self proclaimed “fat ass” bought two southwest seats cause it was cheaper then flying first class elsewhere. Never mind that he was forced to give up one of those seats so a person on stand bye could make the flight. Because Smith could not fit his waist inside a seat 17.5 inches in width, he was booted and given 100 bucks for his trouble. (Never mind the cost of the two tickets was probably close to a thousand dollars.)

The second story is that the Transportation security agency, in an effort to deter and prevent incidents like Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s attempted bombing of a Christmas day flight over Detroit, is going to begin swabbing the hands of random passengers to detect explosive residue, thus adding another 15 minutes of security screenings that mean nothing, and that the flying public is expected to accept and “deal with” for the illusion of safety.

The first story I have little to fear from, since I am a man of average girth. I do have to say though those tiny seats that are on airplanes are uncomfortable as hell though. About the only full blown seat that I have seen on a passenger ferrying vehicle that is smaller then a typical airline seat is a device in Kia SUV’s that advertise that they seat seven people (the seats in those case are ten inches wide in the back, and the front has bench seats for three people). It is a greater symptom that Airlines are forgetting that their passengers are paying customers. With the advent of “strategic partnerships” between airlines and the mergers of others though, there is no competition that can take place between them, and the competition that does take place is in Cost cutting being extended to the passenger, thus removing frills all the way down to beverage service. No airline is willing to try and be upscale. No one is willing to advertise themselves like Makers Mark advertises the Bourbon. “It tastes expensive ... and is.”

I want to see a mainstream Airline that is unapologetic about their prices, because they let you check bags without an extra fee, give you a blanket and pillow without you asking and offers seats the size normally found in Caddilacs. If someone knows of such an airline that serves the whole nation, please let me know.

People Who Ruin it for everyone

So there is a Rule hear on Arbitration. I wait one month after a major disaster before I talk about how I like to jerk off to the body count. okay I do not actually do that, but in a very Carlin-esque way I love watching disasters. I work in an industry (life insurance) where death is a fact of life, and can even be seen as the cost of doing business. so when I watch a city disappear because most of the homes were not built to any sort of safety regulation, and in regions explicitly flagged off from development because they were not safe to build on, I admit I laugh.

Seeing one of the poorest countries on the planet almost literally collapse to non existence in terms of governance, and exist as a pseudo anarchy has been fascinating. The fact that it HAS turned into a survival of the fittest scenario and WORKED indicates that sometimes we just need to leave other peoples problems alone.

lets face it the relief effort in Haiti, has been another colossal failure. Medicine is not getting to proper people, language barriers (Creole is not French UN Peacekeepers!) are causing hostility, and a society who used to revere the dead to the point of graves being more elaborate then homes, are no kicking as many people into deep holes as possible and trying to move on.

there is no greater example of people failing to help however, then the story of ten Baptist-Christian Missionaries from Idaho. In this case, ten people have tried to take about 30 children they declared orphans across Haiti's border to the Dominican Republic for eventual adoption by American families. they now sit in a half demolished prison cell awaiting child trafficking charges

the problem of course was, some of these kids were not orphans. Yes there were some parents who gave away their children in hopes for a better life, some other children where, on a fundamental level, kidnapped from parents.

as a result of this case, many of the life saving medivacs that have taken children from hati to nearby Miami, Florida or aboard hospital ships like the USS Comfort have ground to a stand still.there is a mountain of paperwork that is supposed to be done when a child is to be removed from Haitian soil. in the immediate aftermath of the Earthquake, a lot of that paperwork (by necessity) was waived in favor of saving lives. in light of this however, what is left of Haitian law enforcement is spent on making sure NO CHILDREN leave Haitian soil.

when one listens to the stories of these ten missionaries, you get the sense that they had no idea what the hell they were doing. It almost sounds like ten idiots with no sense of protocol or sense were closing their eyes and letting their God point them where they should go and what they should do. I am all for making it up as I go along, but that usually applies for things like dinner menus.

the end result however is that yet again we have a group of religious nut jobs, who by their actions have made life hard on the rest of the world. like any Islamic Terrorist their choices are costing lives every day, and making a government paranoid and over protective of its people.

for 100,000 years human beings have used the Gods and Demons we worship for whatever reason as a good excuse for doing anything. and it has erupted into wars, changes in a nations governance, persecution of minorities, and abuse of our fellow man.

I am not saying that human beings must reject religion, far from it. What I do think we as a species need to do though is stop accepting religion as an acceptable argument to justify ANYTHING. We need to have a higher standard, a higher and more universal rulebook that applies not to the spiritual world, but the physical one. with something like 5 major religions and over 50 sects combined therein, too of "God's Laws" intersect each other.

"God told me to take this children and provide a better life for them!"

Thats great, the world wide rule book says that you need to make sure, along with one of our state department reps, that these kids are actually orphans, here is a ton of paper work to fill out, in the mean time this hospital needs triage nurses, so the other nine of you follow me."

Nerds Excluding Nerds

*authors note* I plan on making a you tube video of this script, but I wanted to get it out there first

So there is a debate raging on in the Battletech community currently, and it is one that seems to pop up every once in a while. Should Battletech be considered a What You See Is What You Get style miniatures game?

The reason this debate has popped up again is three fold. First off the introductory box released a little over two years ago by Catalyst Game Labs contained 24 plastic Mech Miniatures. These Mechs were not made of the best quality materiels but provided a decent visual aid for new players to build interest in the game beyond the box set. There are now mutterings of a Clan Expansion box set to be released hopefully sometime in the next year, that will include more plastic minis.

Secondly Catalyst is working with a second Miniatures company, along with Iron Wind Metals to release relatively inexpensive, High-quality plastic miniatures. These minis are suppoused to be of even beter quality then those of Games Workshops Warhammer and 40K lines.

Finally Battletech is experiencing a resurgence in popularity. Between people brought in from the Now Defunct Wizkids Mechwarrior Game, and converts from War Machine and Warhammer 40K, the Battletech player base has increased substantially over the past four or so years.

All of these are contributing to an ever popular demand to make it so that when playing Battletech on the table top, the minis you play with on the table are the Mechs you are actually using. But will this become the official way Battletech tournaments are played?

Before I begin my editorial on this subject I would like to say that catalyst has already officially spoken on the matter. At the beginning of every major rule book they state that the use of Proxies in their game, is not only allowed, but encouraged. While to some this means using any mini for any Mech, many catalyst have taken it a step further by suggesting coins, bottle caps, and even scraps of Post Its for game play purposes.

So really, the debate is moot and we should all give it up, and delay by an infinitesimal amount, the eventual heat death of the universe.

I on the other hand, wish to be a loudmouthed prick, and speak my mind about the practicality of Battletech as a WYSIWYG game.

What You See Is What You Get is a common practice in many table top war games. These range from the Warhammer universe, known for its players strict adherence to the WYSIWYG policy as it is for the expense involved in the game. There is Warmachine and hoards where Proxies are possible but not practical, and then we have a few games like Catan where WYSWIG is necessary but also not an issue thanks to the materials provided in the game.

Battletech however is inherently different. Like other games, the forces you can deploy are inherently fluid, and can even be determined randomly. There is also a hypothetical ideal in the universe that every faction involved has access to any and all war materiels that ever existed in the universe, provided you are willing to spend the right amount of in game money. That means that each nation has access to at least 500 different BattleMechs and over 2000 configurations alone. When we get into tanks, aircraft, space craft, and infantry the combinations literally get to numerous to count.

This makes Battletech unique in that it does not force a player to commit to one nation or faction in order to play. Unlike Warhammer 40K where it would cost a fortune to multi task, or Flames of War, were personal history and nostalgia, along with a love of flavor permit a person to commit to one nation or force, Battletech not only allows but ENCOURAGES the player to play as a nation one game, and then another nation the next.

The kicker is that most of the machines available in Battletech lack serious stylistic distinction. with that in mind, how can you even be certain that your lance fits the flavor of the Magistracy of Canopus, or the Free Rasalhauge Republic . The current bad guy of the Battletech Universe, if there ever was such a thing as a bad guy, the Word of Blake, not only have their own special war materiel, but they also use and abuse war materiel from every corner of the galaxy, even the Clans, who keep a pretty tight rein on their war machines.

The second issue I want you to consider is economics. Again I have to refer to Games Workshops properties in this case. A typical basic unit of soliders, like the Space Marine Tactical Squad, will cost you 35 dollars and buy you ten models. If we go to Iron Wind metals website, we find that the same amount of money will by you anywhere from 2 to 5 models depending on what you purchase. While a typical Battletech game is four Mechs on four Mechs, thus making this price point not a problem, it does not change the fact that you, under a WYSIWYG game would be forced to use those same four Mechs over and over. Then what happens if you want to use two of the same Mech in a game but do not have two of that Mechs miniature? Suddenly a game that is well designed for players on a budget becomes really expensive really fast, all because of the demands of a few nerds that do not care about thier credit score.

Now a Typical WYSIWYG player’s response is “man up, you are supporting the game.” I tend to hear this mostly from Games Workshop converts. This is where I want to point out that that statement is only half right. Battletech is produced, on a very real basis, by two separate companies. Catalyst game labs produces the rules, art, and fiction for the universe. A second company Iron Wind Metals, produces the Metal Miniatures for the game. Now I am a fan of both companies… But I would argue you support the GAME more by purchasing Catalysts books and rules then Ironwinds Minis. In either case Catalyst makes money from the purchase of either, thanks to License agreements, but the “man up” argument deserves a counter

After a 1100 dollar a month mortgage payment nearly 400 in associated bills (gas power water) and 200 in groceries, I have around 200 dollars a month in “free” cash, and on occasion that has to go towards things like buying clothes for my wife, son and myself, or fixing a car, house etc. I also have other hobbies like Video games and movies to feed, and a credit card I need to pay off. Sometimes “supporting the game” is a secondary concern.

It should also come to light that you are only really supporting the game if you buy from your game store or from Iron Wind directly if you buy minis. Purchasing from ebay, particularly older or out of date miniatures, usually means that Catalyst (or its predecessors FASA or Fanpro) already got their money out of it and you are lining a third parties pocket. Compund that with the fact that catalyst makes its money from the Game Books, and only gets a small residual from Miniatures sales, THAT argument is false out the gate.

Another piece to consider is a small bit of technology in the Battletech universe called Omni-Tech. First introduce by the Clans in 1991, Omni-Mechs, and later Omni-Tanks, and Omni-fighters (and to a limited extent Omni Battle Armor) gives a war machine completely modular capability, permitting a the same machine to be outfitted one way, and then over night be deployed with an entirely different load out the next day, much like how an F-15 can be equipped as a light bomber on one sortie, then an Air Superiority fighter the next. Under this prevalent technology, some players would either have to have upwards of nine copies of a single Mech to cover every different configuration of an Omni-Mech, and then need to do it twice or three times in case they want to field more then one of those Mechs.

As well there are variations of non OmniMechs that are done in factory (or sometimes jerry rigged in the field) are you going to force me to SHOW you that that Hammerhands mini is in fact the 5D as opposed to the 3D model? WYSWIG Gamers usually will bend about this and say “only so far as the base chassis.” But I call that a cop out to promote their ideology. But then the problem is compounded by another issue. There are many miniatures that have been out of production for years, sometimes over a decade. There are also several other designs that have been taken out of production, so that purchasing new means having to pay a premium.

Well what if I wish to play with one of these designs? Am I shit out of luck because I was not into the miniatures side of the hobby back then? If you allow me to sub, lets say a Dervish mini to represent an Apollo, then the whole WYSIWYG argument goes out the window to demanding that you play with miniatures only instead of paperboard cutouts, and that is another debate all together.

If all of these concerns were not enough, I have a practical matter for you. Battletech Minis are both fragile and heavy. I have lost count how often I have had to glue on the same damned arm to a Berserker mini of mine. Figuring out how to store and transport minis is a pain in the ass and carries its own expense with it. I for example have literally more Mechs then I have items to hold them in. Some are languishing in foam lined cardboard boxes as a result. I am not proud, but I have run out of materials to put them in. In a WYSIWYG play environment, the problem becomes compounded because I will need to haul it all to location A, in case I want to play a particular Mech on a last second whim.

For me the bottom line in the WYSIWYG debate is simple. We have a side of the Battletech player community who wants to show off their toys, and compare them to other peoples. It is part of the imaginary ownership that players and fan of any universe claim when they adhere to their random form of nerdness, and their desire to be offended that others do not take it seriously. The next step from WYSIWYG will be players demanding that other players claim ownership of a particular faction in the universe (where there are over 50 recorded factions alone), and then after that would be claiming and painting all of your minis in a particular military unit within the faction. While the argument is incumbent on the slippery slope fallacy, I would like to think I had already addressed well and good the ridiculousness of the issue at hand in order to indulge in it.

My personal take on the whole issue is this. Nothing supports a game better then playing it. That means butts in seats, dice in hand. Whether it is with miniatures, cardstock cut outs, or bottle caps and bobby pins I don’t care. Battletech is a game designed to be as simple or as complicated as you wish, so there is no real sense in trying to be exclusionary when someone wants to play the game with you, but has not shown the same kind of commitment you have. You could be missing out on making a good friend, or at the least a hell of a challenging game.

Insensitivty Training

One of the things I hate is people trying to control language. for some reason people seem to think the First Amendment of the Constitution has the caveat "unless, of course, it offends a person's sensibilities."

The latest example of such is the "Think B4 You Speak" campaign. Do not get me wrong, I know that this campaign was created with the best of intentions, but trying to control language, and therefore thought goes against the very foundation of the United States and its origins. Simply put, people will always say things you do not like, and by extention, things you hate.

the solution is not to try and change people, but rather to change yourself. I am not saying that, in this particular case, gay people need to not be gay. that is like asking the sun to not be a giant fusion furnace, or for housefly's to walk from A to B. I am saying that people need to insulate their sensitivities to what they do not like. As a kid who got picked on and bullied A LOT growing up, I know it works. if you never want to be offended, you might as well not leave the house. that is not much of a way to live, but like abstinence preventing STDs it is garunteed to work.

What makes this campaign even worse for me is the silly tactics they use. right on the front page of their website you can see three examples of what someone COULD say about Jocks, Cheerleaders, and Gamers. that kind of passive aggressive stance takes something that could have been a clever "oh snap!" moment, and turns it into an image of a kid sitting on his bed crying and saying these things to his/her pillow.

I hate to quote the 2007 Film Transformers, but here is a great bit of dialogue to counter such things if a jock gives you crap.

Trent DeMarco: So, what are you guys doing here?
Sam Witwicky: We're here to climb this tree.
Trent DeMarco: I can see, it looks...it looks fun. You know, I thought I recognized you. You tried out for the football team last year, right?
Sam Witwicky: Oh, no, no, that...That wasn't like a real try-out. I was researching a book I was writing.
Trent DeMarco: Oh, yeah?
Sam Witwicky: Yeah!
Trent DeMarco: Yeah? What's it about? Sucking at sports?
Sam Witwicky: No, it's about the link between brain damage and football. No, it's a good book, your friends will love it. You know, it's got mazes in it, you know, little coloring areas, sections, pop-up pictures...it's a lot of fun.

A comedian named David Naster refers to such a tactic as a Humor Hand Grenade. the use of wit in an appropriate situation can stop a situation from getting unpleasant, or in this case, shut a bully down where all they can do is walk away grumbling under their breath. I would suggest that anyone who feels oppressed form "that's so gay." Try this before whining to a special interest group.

a Word to Twilight fans

Stephanie Meyer is a talentless hack!

Seriously, twilight fans young and old need to Re-read this bullshit that they are so adorned with, cause I am getting sick of it. this johnny come lately fandom is so out of control that it flooded downtown San Diego during the ComiCon, and prevented people from getting INTO the convention center to enjoy other panels.

http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?p=2327

Now here is the thing. I consider myself a fan of Vampire lore. from the oldest myths about creatures kidnapping virgins, to Stokers fable of an infamous Romanian noble. From Anne Rice's take of a 300 year old Frenchmen, all the way up to Marvel Comic's tales of an entire Vampire Culture living hidden among us, Vampires fascinate me. even Eidos' Legacy of Kain Video Games have contributed something positive to the collection of tales on Vampires.

Stephanie Meyer takes these sources, rolls them up into a little ball and throws them into a Yiff room at a Furry Convention.

Her Vampires are "Vegetarians" by citing the consumption of animal blood. We see something similar in "interview with a Vampire" where Louis resists the urge to kill human beings for the sake of his own life. this behavior weakens him however, and after enough time he ends of feeding on a child to save his own life. in Stoker, it is mentioned that at Vampire can feed on any life, but only human blood can provide the best nourishment possible. in other Vampire fiction it is impossible to feed on any other creature at all.

While Meyer's Vampires can be out in the light, a theme shared by Stoker, the fact the sun has no ill effects and essentially "outs" then due to what I call the "bling effect" is an invention that exists merely to make vampirisim pretty to young girls.

Finally there is the characterization itself. I would cite my own opinion here, but I think it pretty much follows Laura Miller from Salon.Com's opinion. http://www.salon.com/books/review/2008/07/30/Twilight/

"the characters, such as they are, are stripped down to a minimum, lacking the texture and idiosyncrasies of actual people"

"Twilight would be a lot more persuasive as an argument that an "amazing heart" counts for more than appearances if it didn't harp so incessantly on Edward's superficial splendors."

And then what about the sex? Seriously what about it. In an era where people delude themselves about kids having sex at younger and younger ages (a myth I will talk about in another post) this OCD chick Bella is chaste to the point of being barely alive. she seriously orgasm's at being touched by this ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR YEAR OLD. the pseudo paedophilic nature of this relationship is glossed over because he looks seventeen or eighteen. The entire treatment of Sex screams from Meyer's Mormon upbringing. She vaguely implies becoming a vampire is akin to losing your virginity, and thus should not happen on a whim. The numerous times Bella asks to be turned could almost be replaced with "Turn me into your fuck-toy," turning religious sexual frustration onto young girls that may or may not be ready for such pressures.

My biggest complaint about this whole series though, is that the vampires this story centers around have had their proverbial balls cut off. Vampires are almost portrayed as universally predatory, treating people they way people treat cattle, or sometimes the way a cat treats a mouse. even in tales where a vampiric culture is attempting to live covertly among humanity, they do not blend in, but rather stay in the shadows unless it suits them. Meyer's attempt to normalize vampire's completely defeats the purpose of them not being normal.

Sorry to all the teen girls out there, but long and short is I find nothing redeeming about the series, and the author behind it is bland, boring, and in her attempts to be original, proceeds to do nothing but create a "PG-13" rated harlequin series.

in short, Stephanie Meyer is a talentless hack

All of the has happened before....

http://news.spong.com/gateway?Games+Addiction+Researcher+Admits+%22I+Made+an+Error%22/%2Farticle%2F17790%2FGames_Addiction_Researcher_Admits_I_Made_an_Error

People with an agenda trying to do research to suit their needs. Jack Thompson probably spooged his shorts when he read this paper initially.

This has always been a great frustration for me as a gamer. People want to see video games as a child's toy, instead of as a legitimate entertainment form like theater, cinema, and television. Since the days of the Magnavox Odyssey in 1972 There has been a niche market of adults that has gotten progressively bigger. the reason why is that children who were playing Colecovision, Intellivision, Atari, the Sega Master System, or Nintendo grew up and continued to game.

and what is the number one criticism. "well video games are just escapism"

Yes, of course they are. just like reading a book, or watching a movie. Video games are at least slightly more constructive then either format, because you control the circumstances. you as a player get to determine the path that the stories protagonist take.

Gaming is a culture, and just because some idiots out there do not agree with it does not mean it does not have a right to exist.

Personal pet peve

I have this thing. Maybe the title lies, because it is not a pet peeve, so much as a psychotic hatred. I dislike it when people try to control what I say. Now I could be an asshole and delve into the political, constitutional issue of why you should not try to control or limit a persons speech. that is a rant for another day, and it steps beyond my PERSONAL purview. I am more interested when people personally try to alter my speech patterns.

let me outline this for you, by telling a story children.

It was the spring of 2002 or 2003. I was strolling downtown Columbia Missouri, enjoying the early warm weather, when a man walks up to me.

"Hi there, can you tell me how I can get to Brady Commons?" the man asks

"query/directions; University of Missouri student recreation center. 5 blocks north: 1/2 block east" my brain processes and I say

"oh sure, go strait up this ...."

I am interrupted

"please don't say that, I never would go strait. Tell me to go gayly forward." the man says. I wish to whatever Gods or Demons are in charge of this plane that I was kidding. GAYLY FORWARD.

"ERROR, ERROR, ERROR. reboot, rootcommand/access archive.repeatlastcommand" brain says

"err... OK, well you just go strait..."

"I told you I NEVER go strait"

"ERROR, ERROR, ERROR,. reboot, rootcommand/ access self-defense protocol. Select Lefthook. Run."

*POW*

asshole got what he deserved.

sorry ladies and gentlemen, that is the way it is with me. if I get my facts wrong, I will correct myself, if I screw up grammar, I apologise, correct myself and move on. BUT, when there are things like semantics involved, I get pissed off at you to the point where I can justify knocking you to the pavement. in this case this guy insists on me not saying the word strait, in order to protect his gay sensibilities. Again I must emphasize I am not making this up.

If you are gay that is fine. but if you get offended by the mere word strait, which has been in written language just as long as the word gay, then you have a major sensibility issue that needs to be addressed. that kind of crap does not even fall under political correctness, since a DIRECTION is not something that should be applied as a label to a person.

same thing applies to the Infamous Seven things you can not say on television. If I use the words Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cock-sucker, Mother-Fucker, or Tits, that should be my prerogative. believe it or not I try not to use such words whimsically. but if I spew an expletive from my mouth for whatever reason, the last thing that should happen in this great land is for another person to tell me NOT to use whatever language I see fit.

of course, that is just my opinion, I could be wrong.