Fans vs Creators

This is going to be a short one, but the Laconic statements tend to be a little more meaningful.

For those that don’t know, about four or five days after Mass Effect 3 was released, a shit-storm erupted about how the ending of the game was, in a nutshell unsatisfying. The fan dissatisfaction has grown to such silly proportions that a facebook group has emerged to try and guilt Bioware, the developer, into changing the ending of the game by donating to charity. A single fan has also filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission, stating Bioware engaged in dishonest marketing practices.

Here is where I have a problem. Wiser people then me have already come down on fans for being spoiled, falsely entitled, whiny little bitches. What I have yet to see though, is a proper indictment of the game.

I have yet to see a point by point list of charges, and corroborating evidence, on why the ending of the game was bad, and why the developer and publisher of the game in question need to be compelled to change it.

What I have seen can be surmised by commentator MatPat, the developer of webseries Game Theory.

“ Without spoiling anything, the ending of Mass Effect 3 breaks the established lore of the game’s universe, contradicts thematic elements that have been omnipresent throughout all three games, and throws logic out the window. In other words, it isn’t just unsatisfying or “not what we expected,” it’s sloppy and, quite frankly, disgraceful to the brilliantly-crafted world and expertly-handled stories that came before it.”

Therein lies the problem for me. Everyone who is making an attempt to debate this issue, starts by saying “without spoiling anything.” But if players really had the courage of their own convictions, and this games ending was such a crime against art and the creative process that they are saying, then who cares about spoilers.

Drop your emotional baggage, and don’t worry about others having the plot spoiled. If you are seeking to compel a content creator to fundamentally alter their work, then you must stand tall and stand proud and state how they did it wrong.

Why I love Battletech

So I was reading the Game Over-thinker, who created a video called I love Video Games, which he admitted was a rip off of friend of the show Film Critic Hulks "Why I love movies." and cause I have nothing else coming up the pipe creatively I thought I would rip of the man, who ripped off the man.

So here it is, the reasons I love Battletech

BECAUSE OF JORDAN WEISMANN.

BECAUSE OF BEER AND PRETZELS

BECAUSE OF TEACHING MY WIFE HOW TO PLAY AS A DATE.

BECAUSE OF THE GIANT ROBOTS

BECAUSE OF THE TO HIT MODIFIER

BECAUSE OF THE END OF A DYING TIME.

BECAUSE OPERATION KLONDIKE GOT MADE.

BECAUSE OF THOMAS FREAKING HOGARTH!!!

BECAUSE OF THE JUMPKICK IN TRO 3025 HAS NOT GOTTEN SOLID RULES YET.

BECAUSE OF MICHAEL STACKPOLE

BECAUSE IT IGNITES OUR IMAGINATIONS.

BECAUSE OF GRAYSON CARLYE STARING DOWN A LOCUST.

BECAUSE OF TIMBIQUI DARK

BECAUSE OF THE COUNCIL OF THE GEMS MEETING IN THE EARLY NOVELS

BECAUSE OF THE MOMENT WHERE VICTOR DAVION GETS PUNCHED IN THE FACE IN THE BLOOD OF KERENSKY TRILOGY.

SCREW IT, BECAUSE OF THE ENTIRETY OF BLOOD OF KERENSKY TRILOGY.

BECAUSE OF THE FIRST SOMERSET STRIKERS

BECAUSE OF THE DELIGHTFUL, LURID INSANITY ROMANO LIAO

BECAUSE OF MISTAKES LIKE FAR COUNTRY.

BECAUSE IT ALLOW US TO EXPERIENCE IMPOSSIBILITIES.

BECAUSE OF TUESDAY

BECAUSE OF THE INSANE RANGE OF THE AC2.

BECAUSE NO ONE WEARS THE WHITE HEAT.

BECAUSE OF GARISH COLOR SCHEMES ON CAMO SPECS

BECAUSE OF EVERY SINGLE LINE DELIVERY BY JAIME WOLF IN WOLVES ON THE BORDER

BECAUSE OF THE DELIGHTFUL RARITY OF KNOCKING OUT A 100 TON MECH WITH A SINGLE SHOT

BECAUSE OF THE JOKES MY FRIEND CHRIS MADE DURING GAMES.

BECAUSE I PRETTY MUCH KINDA SAW THE END OF THE FEDCOM CIVIL WAR, DOWN TO VLAD TAKING KATHERINE AS A SEX SLAVE, ERRRR BONDSMAN

BECAUSE I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THE MANEI DOMINI COMING.

BECAUSE WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO TOP THE HOT DROP SCENE IN FLASHPOINT

BECAUSE I STILL THINK “ENHANCED IMAGING” IS COOL 20 YEARS LATER.

BECAUSE ENDGAME WAS NOT THAT AT ALL

BECAUSE OF EVERY SINGLE PRODUCTION DETAIL OF THE WARS OF REAVING

BECAUSE LAMS ARE SO POWERFUL THEY CAN BE BANNED.

BECAUSE OF LAM LOVERS

BECAUSE OF LAM HATERS

BECAUSE OF MORGAN KELL.

BECAUSE IT MAKES THE WORLD FEEL BIGGER.

BECAUSE IT MAKES THE WORLD FEEL SMALLER.

BECAUSE OF THE UNCOMFORTABLE TIME MY WIFE CHALLENGED ME TO A TRIAL OF POSSESSION FOR MY GENETIC LEGACY

BECAUSE OF HOW ANY FAN CAN STAND UP TALL AND PROUDLY PROCLAIM TO LOVE THE URBANMECH

BECAUSE VICTOR STEINER DAVION’S ROMANCES WITH OMI KURITA AND ISIS MARIK ARE MORE COMPELLING AND MATURE THEN ANYTHING STEFANIE MEYER WILL EVER HOPE TO WRITE DOWN IN HER PUTRID EXISTENCE AS AN AUTHOR

BECAUSE OF THE CUT TO BLACK GHOSTS OF WINTER

BECAUSE OF THE ASSASSINATION SCENE IN ASSUMPTION OF RISK

BECAUSE OF THE BIG REVEAL IN LETHAL HERATIGE.

BECAUSE THE JIHAD DIDN'T COMPROMISE.

BECAUSE OF LINCOLN OSIS’ NECK

BECAUSE OF TANCRED SANDOVAL’S MUTTONCHOPS.

BECAUSE OF KAREN NAGASAWA’S SMILE.

BECAUSE OF ULRIC KERENSKY’S MIND.

BECAUSE OF ACE DARWIN’S PANTHER.

BECAUSE OF PHELAN KELLS GALL

BECAUSE OF THE LEGACY OF THOMAS MARIK.

BECAUSE OF THE WAY ANDREY KERENSKY PROJECTED DIGNITY.

BECAUSE OF THEY WAY NATASHA KERENSKY PROJECTED TROUBLE.

BECAUSE OF THE WAY HANSE DAVION WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR SHIT.

BECAUSE OF THE WAY ALEXANDER DAVION WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR SHIT EITHER.

BECAUSE I SAID “NO FUCKING WAY” WHEN THE MANEI DOMINI WHERE INTRODUCED AS MORE THEN RUMOR IN DAWN OF THE JIHAD

BECAUSE I CRIED WHEN OMI KURITA WAS KILLED

BECAUSE OF THE HORRIFIC AWESOMENESS THAT WAS STAR LORD.

BECAUSE OF THE JAGERMECH.

BECAUSE TRO 3075 PROVED YOU CAN STILL DO AWESOME THINGS WITH “OUT OF THE BOX SET” TECHNOLOGY

BECAUSE OF THE AWESOME ART OF BRENT EVANS

BECAUSE OF DOUG CHAFEE.

BECAUSE OF 25 YEARS OF ART AND FICTION

BECAUSE THE SWORD AND THE DAGGER IS STILL NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE TO GET UNDER 100 DOLLARS.

BECAUSE OF THE BRAZEN AUDACITY OF RANDALL BILLS AND LOREN COLEMAN.

BECAUSE OF SOME FANS STILL CONSIDER TECHNICAL READOUT 3025 TO BE THE PINNACLE OF THE UNIVERSE AND DAMN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT IT.

BECAUSE BECAUSE ARCHER CHRISTIFORI ASKING KATHERNIEN STEINER DAVION FOR AN EXCUSE TO PUBLICLY HUMILIATE HER WAS THE LAST GREAT SLAP IN THE FACE OF AN IRREDEMABLE CHARACTER

BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE SATISFYING THEN PULLING OFF AN UNBELIEVABLY DIFFICULT MINIATURES PAINT JOB THE FIRST TIME AROUND

BECAUSE NOTHING IS MORE FRUSTRATING THEN NEVER QUITE GETTING THAT SAME PAINT JOB TO REPEAT IT’S BRILLIANCE.

BECAUSE I CAN STAY LOYAL TO THE PROPERTY WHILE BEING BANNED FROM THE FORUMS.

BECAUSE HERB, BRENT, LOREN, ALEX, RAY, BEN, JASON, AND TARA ALL GREET ME LIKE AN OLD FRIEND AT THE GENCON BOOTH.

BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONE THING I WOULD PLAY OVER ANY OTHER GAME OUT THERE.

... EXCEPT SHARING THEM WITH THE PEOPLE WHO THINK THAT TOO.

BECAUSE AS CYNICAL AS WE GET, THERE ARE STILL A THOUSAND GREAT STORIES THAT HAVE YET TO BE TOLD. A THOUSAND GREAT GAMES YET TO BE PLAYED, AND A THOUSAND GREAT MECHS YET TO GRACE A RECORD SHEET.

AND LASTLY, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, BECAUSE BATTLETECH TOTALLY MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN.

Better to have loved, then to have lost... Try it.

The Following is a portion of a letter i shared with my sister in law. The exact details as to why I told this tale are rather confidential, but the story is what I needed to share. it is a tale that only a few close confidants know, but ten years later after losing a woman I loved, it seems to be a good time to share it with the world.

There was a story I wanted to tell you, before you were shipped out to basic. I do hope that you read it over at least once. Long before you and I met I was seeing a young woman by the name of Emily Silverman. She went to the same high school my first long term girlfriend did. To say we did not get along would be like saying oil and water do not mix. In our high school years we generally avoided each other, and times where proximity could not be avoided we just did not speak, lest a shouting match break out.

In November of 2002 close to a year after breaking up with that same girlfriend I was ready to begin dating again. I ran into Emily at a party my friend was holding. It was not sparks flying or anything like that. Rather I willingly took the time to reintroduce myself to her, starting with a heart felt apology for my behavior when we knew each other previously. When I returned to Columbia after Thanksgiving I had an email waiting for me, with her phone number and a message. “Want to hang out? Maybe go dancing.”

Our first night together was eventful. I treated the whole thing like a first date, brought flowers, the whole nine. Things were going so well when I moved in for a kiss she dropped the bomb.

“You do know I am seeing someone, right?”

If on November 29^th 2002 you heard a faint screaming of the word “fuck” that was me. But something else happened that night, we hung out, talked, danced and eventually did kiss. She told me she wanted to leave the man she was with, but did not want to be a serial dater. She encouraged me to go out and date other people as well as her, give her time to sort herself out. I told her I would, but never got around to it. We hung out every weekend of December, briefly parted ways for new years, and resumed in January. At the time I never recalled being happier. It was around the 3^rd week of January that she called me on not dating anyone else, and pressed me to do it again. A week after that I started talking to your sister.

The last days of January and first weekend of February was an emotional roller coaster for me. I slept with Emily for the first time the night of Janurary 31^st, and woke up to see the Space Shuttle Columbia had disintegrated over Texas. In hindsight I should have taken that as an omen, but my belief in such things is weak to this day. About three days later I went out with your sister for the first time. In true Jenny fashion she really never gave me the chance to explain my situation. Waking up next to her, very sore from what you sister did to me, I finally got to tell her what was going on.

Much to jenny’s credit she did not cry, or feel betrayed that after sex on the first night I told her she was not the only woman I was seeing. Later on she admitted that some of the times she called me up trying to get me to come over cause she was sick, were cries for attention, but by then things had long since changed.

So for the month of February 2003 I was dating two wonderful women. I like to say there was the one I loved, and the one that loved me. To Emily’s credit, she kept saying she needed to meet your sister, saying she needed to “approve” her. Jenny was open to this idea as well, something that shocked me.

On March 19^th 2003 my life changed in a way that even 10 years later I find hard to reconcile. I got a frantic phone call from Emily, telling me something exciting just happened to her, and it meant big things for me as well. She wanted to wait to tell me in person. She told me she would be over at my Dormitory bright and early the following Saturday, because she started a new job Friday. The last words I ever heard her say were “I love you James. I can not wait to tell you.”

At 4: 19 PM on highway 65 heading to Marshall Missouri, Emily swerved her car to avoid hitting a coyote. She arrived at the University of Missouri Hospital 2 hours later and was in intensive care. I immediately dropped everything I had when her mother called me, and was at the University Hosptial Saturday morning, March 21^st. I begged her to hang on, cause she had something to tell me. Told her everything was going to be okay. I held her hand as she slipped away at 8: 22 am March 21^st.

Her mother, Kathy, later shared with me that she had left her boyfriend Jeremiah, and was working to transfer to the University of Missouri. Though Kathy did not say it out loud I guess the plan was going to be she and I would move into an apartment together.

Sister, you talked about how both you and your husband have irrevocably changed. I hope that tale shows you how I understand that. In my life I went through something at 20 years of age that no one should have to go through. And it changed me in ways I can not describe. But your sister did not run away from that, she was not afraid of what I had gone through, and she did not give up on me. I am not the same man that I was when Jenny and I first met, I am not the same man she moved in with, and I am not the same man she married. More to the point, Jenny is not the same woman she was at any of those points either.

Now as to why I chose to share this with you now? Because I should have shared it ages ago. That I did not reflects my failure to you as a friend, and a brother. Maybe there is a hint of better late then never, or a vain hope that this will give you something to chew on during those moments of mental auto-pilot. More then anything else I just want you to know that I understand, more then you know.

Where have all the badasses gone?

Bullying is a perennial topic these days in the media and at dinner tables. As someone who in high school was brutally bullied, my heart always goes out to the families of teens who decide they can not handle it and turn to suicide.

The most recent example, one Jamey Rodemeyer of Buffalo New York is turning attention to a federal level though, and we are staring down the barrel of federal anti bully legislation. That we have to rely on federal regulation to force school administration and parents do their fucking jobs is beyond tragic to me. It shows a colossal failure of both entities to keep up with the technology that took torment to such an outrageous degree.

The common thread that I keep seeing is that teenagers are no longer safe anywhere. That people who chronically bully them are on social media doing it, and occasionally breaking Stalking laws and following them home. The specific torments are nothing new, usually relating to sexuality. But what shocks me is what is absent.

What I don’t understand is why the victims of bullying don’t rage out and fight back, violently if they have to. Particularly if the torment gets physical. Where is the rash of Zangief Kids out there? Where are the kids who have had enough, hit the gym, and go from Bruce Banner to the Hulk? I hate to ask this but where the fuck are the kids that get so angry that they externalize that pain and do something even worse?

I hate to go back and blame the Columbine Incident, but something happened over the past decade where kids were brought to believe that lashing out violently at people who are going out of their way to torment you is not the answer. Despite the above statement, I am not advocating a rash of bullied kits bringing shotguns to school, but I certainly think a few months at the gym followed by breaking some faces is called for. I want to see Gay-Strait alliance kids form a little muscle in their group, and deliver some Archie Slaps to the insecure fuckheads that think its okay to pick on others so THEY feel good about themselves.

Violence against bullies should not be the first solution by the bullied, but I think we need to adapt the student culture so it returns to being a viable solution. If it isn’t, and teens continue to think they have no other option but to be powerless and rely on other people, then they will behave powerless and rely on other people. The future will be dim indeed if that happens.

Really?

Once in a while I come across something that I find just about everything wrong with. Not even an instance where I can say- “Well isn’t that cute??? BUT IT’S WRONG!!!!!” this morning as I plopped down at my desk at work and did my morning wind up, I ran across this article on The Escapist.

That led to the source article, which already got my blood boiling as is. A woman buried a potential relationship in two dates simply cause a hedge fund guy played Magic the Gathering. Despite the fact that this was Jon Finkel, the Magic World Champion, I honestly feel like that had very little to do with it, so much as the mere presence of cardboard crack in his life.

But that delicious main course of “Girl bails on a guy cause he is a geek.” Is just that, the savory ribeye to a glorious meal of hate. I want to talk about the other things she did in this story that piss me off

First was the shame that she approached dating online, using OkCupid. In my life I have had a few relationships going to “date rapey bars” and hang outs. I even went to a girls church just because I wanted to know if her boobs were real or not. I think it speaks volumes though that the woman I married, and have a son with, I met online.

The mixture of shame and fear of finding a person through a largely anonymous dating site just does not register to me. Granted women who go to these sites, don’t act creepy, saying things like “Cut the crap Hamlet.” If you ask me I think it sucks that most women set up free profiles and a “take a number” box. It makes me wonder if women get a perverse kick out of making men suffer to try to prove that they are good enough to even get the chance to see them in person. I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that it is the same way for websites that are similar but for… other purposes.

So here we have a woman who already is doing something she does not want to do, and being a total twat to people because she has not bothered to cancel her account, That is Strike Two to how she treated Mr. Finkel’s Strike One. A nice Caesar salad in this meal if you ask me.

The Second thing I want to talk about is the date itself. Now in Alyssa’s defense, she did not say how the date was agreed to. If they agreed to dinner and a show, and Mr. Finkel purchased tickets to Jeffrey Dahmer on Broadway without saying “how about this” that is on him. But part of the lesson here is that if you expect to be swept off your feet by a well hung Dudley Do-Wright on a palomino horse on the first date, I think you need a brief lesson in real life.

In an online dating situation, you got two people busting through imaginary social stigma, and their own insecurities to meet up with each other. The only information the have is their name, and if they are smart a criminal background check. In any first date you should be prepared for everything. By everything I mean Chinese food to bad movies, to heels breaking, and the possibility of drinking too much. If Magic the Gathering has players nicknamed Johnny, Timmy, and Spike, Dating has your, Ted, Marshall, and Barney

Ted is the guy who plays it cool, but deep down wants that long term relationship, ultimately involving you in a white dress.

Marshall is timid, but ultimately wants the same thing as ted, maybe with a little to much more focus.

And Barney is… Well he is Barney.

So Strike three, and a lovely twice baked tater on you Miss Bereznek. Sure there is the wine and the spinach I could have discussed to, but this fine meal of hate should stick to the staples.

All that is needed for Evil to succeed...

Well this past weekend has not been looking good for the United States has it? While most of us were seeking shelter since the bad, but not nearly as bad as 1989 heat wave, John Boehner decided to walk away from the White House in negotiating a solution to the nations various economic troubles.

The process has been ass backwards from the get-go. The “Debt Ceiling” situation should have been tackled months ago, but was put off. The two houses of congress should have been negotiating first, THEN the President gets involved through final arbitration.

The Democratic party has already had it’s balls cut off in the negotiations, so their pitfalls need not be examined to closely. Fact is that forcing through the health care reform act the way they did spent all of their political capital for the next decade. While as a party they do in fact have a point in this crisis of the month largely they are drowned out.

As far as the Republican party though, their failure comes in three distinct steps

1) Pledges made by many party members of various imports kneecapped any flexibility to perform in any way on this issue.

2) The inability to separate running a government from ideas of running a household or a business has made Draconion and unfair budget cutting the keystone to their policy, rather then a component part.

3) Inability to see oppourtunity to further bury their opposing party through compromise (the gather more flies with honey then vinegar theory)

Let’s make no mistake here, Democrats and moderate Republicans were MORE THEN FAIR in the negotiations. By offering 3 Billion Dollars in cuts in exchange for 1 dollar in tax revenue, most would call that a deal everyone can agree to. Various polls stated that Americans could live with the so called “Gang of Six” deal hammered out.

House Republicans, who make up the largest part of the now proven inept “Tea Party Caucus” seem to forget the lesion that Democrats proved with the Health Care Reform Act. If you want to forcibly enact fundamental change on such a large scale to the United States, you need control of all three houses of government. The Republican party currently has control of ONE. This leaves the House of Representatives the equivalent of a High School Student Council petitioning the Board of Trustees. You get heard, but your agenda will not go anywhere without negotiation.

At this point I have largely given up on this monetary crisis. I actually am hoping that the nation goes into default, and that public blame gets spread around everywhere. There is an old saying “All that is needed for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.” Given that the congress, who all are fundamentally good people, has done nothing to avert crisis, it should be perfectly fair that the evils that will follow be laid at their feet.

Let the Fates fall where they may.

Asses Kicked, Bubblegum Chewed

So when last we talked I gave the VERY abridged version of the development History of Duke Nukem Forever, leaving the final chapter out but leaving a cryptic video of the introduction to a completely different and awesome game.

That game if you were not paying attention Was Borderlands, a scifi single player shooter of epic proportions loved by fans and critics alike, and bringing Gearbox Software into the forefront of video game visionaries. Previously they were known as “those guys that did Half Life Mods for Valve.

The final development chapter of this review is that after a minor bit of Drama, Gearbox walked up to 3D Realms, raped it, took their baby away and left behind a roll of quarters for cab fare. And while such imagery may be vile when done to real people,. I can honestly say that 3D Realms deserved it.

So here we after after 15 years and one last delay for old times sake, is Duke Nukem Forever worth it?

No, it is not worth 15 years of development.

Let me elaborate. I was a Duke fan since the side scrollers. I know the game I followed it. I lost hope and regained it, and upped the bucks for the shiny super jumbo deluxe version to reward my reaffirmation of the game and its new developers. And when I played it, and got about half way through it I went back to playing Halo Reach.

Under that magnifying glass, Duke Nukem forever is not worth the money I paid. But then two things happened when I played the game for a friend of mine who was only vaguely familiar with Duke Nukem as a franchise.

I blew up then pulled the tongue out of a 3 boobed alien monster, went right into a strip club and had some fun. And my friend said

“This is actually one of the coolest games ever!”

He elaborated that there was no part of the game as a shooter that was trying to be serious. The over the top voice acting, the goofy writing, the ambiance all made for a rather hyper masculine cathartic package. That the lack of emphasis on story, game mechanics, and trying to “push the envelope” emphasized the character of the game.

Okay so he did not say it in so many words, but that was the conclusion I came to after viewing Duke Nukem Forever through his eyes. Speaking of which when he popped them back in his head from a virtual lap dance he applauded the little things that could be done, from using a toilet, to smoking cigars, getting lap dances, playing pool, pinball, arcades, and even flipping off the lights.

This perspective also allowed me to see how when you examine DNF you can see across the past 14 years at all the little traits that had been pilfered from other shooters. This allows the game mechanics themselves to be solid, if not revolutionary.

And that is the key thing to take away from Duke Nukem Forever. It is a solid game. They key criticism that you will find in any review is that “it does not bring anything new.” Never mind that whole franchises have been doing that for years and gotten away with it. Mechanically the weapons are uniqe, the Platforming elements are solid. the only point I really complain about is that about 2/3rds of the way through the game you have to engage in a vehicle section that is drawn out way the hell to far. but overly log arduous levels are nothing new in video game history either, right?

Long and short, check your high expectations at a door. This is not a fantastic game, but it is competent. I want to see what Gearbox can do with the franchise next.