Fans vs Creators

This is going to be a short one, but the Laconic statements tend to be a little more meaningful.

For those that don’t know, about four or five days after Mass Effect 3 was released, a shit-storm erupted about how the ending of the game was, in a nutshell unsatisfying. The fan dissatisfaction has grown to such silly proportions that a facebook group has emerged to try and guilt Bioware, the developer, into changing the ending of the game by donating to charity. A single fan has also filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission, stating Bioware engaged in dishonest marketing practices.

Here is where I have a problem. Wiser people then me have already come down on fans for being spoiled, falsely entitled, whiny little bitches. What I have yet to see though, is a proper indictment of the game.

I have yet to see a point by point list of charges, and corroborating evidence, on why the ending of the game was bad, and why the developer and publisher of the game in question need to be compelled to change it.

What I have seen can be surmised by commentator MatPat, the developer of webseries Game Theory.

“ Without spoiling anything, the ending of Mass Effect 3 breaks the established lore of the game’s universe, contradicts thematic elements that have been omnipresent throughout all three games, and throws logic out the window. In other words, it isn’t just unsatisfying or “not what we expected,” it’s sloppy and, quite frankly, disgraceful to the brilliantly-crafted world and expertly-handled stories that came before it.”

Therein lies the problem for me. Everyone who is making an attempt to debate this issue, starts by saying “without spoiling anything.” But if players really had the courage of their own convictions, and this games ending was such a crime against art and the creative process that they are saying, then who cares about spoilers.

Drop your emotional baggage, and don’t worry about others having the plot spoiled. If you are seeking to compel a content creator to fundamentally alter their work, then you must stand tall and stand proud and state how they did it wrong.

Really?

Once in a while I come across something that I find just about everything wrong with. Not even an instance where I can say- “Well isn’t that cute??? BUT IT’S WRONG!!!!!” this morning as I plopped down at my desk at work and did my morning wind up, I ran across this article on The Escapist.

That led to the source article, which already got my blood boiling as is. A woman buried a potential relationship in two dates simply cause a hedge fund guy played Magic the Gathering. Despite the fact that this was Jon Finkel, the Magic World Champion, I honestly feel like that had very little to do with it, so much as the mere presence of cardboard crack in his life.

But that delicious main course of “Girl bails on a guy cause he is a geek.” Is just that, the savory ribeye to a glorious meal of hate. I want to talk about the other things she did in this story that piss me off

First was the shame that she approached dating online, using OkCupid. In my life I have had a few relationships going to “date rapey bars” and hang outs. I even went to a girls church just because I wanted to know if her boobs were real or not. I think it speaks volumes though that the woman I married, and have a son with, I met online.

The mixture of shame and fear of finding a person through a largely anonymous dating site just does not register to me. Granted women who go to these sites, don’t act creepy, saying things like “Cut the crap Hamlet.” If you ask me I think it sucks that most women set up free profiles and a “take a number” box. It makes me wonder if women get a perverse kick out of making men suffer to try to prove that they are good enough to even get the chance to see them in person. I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that it is the same way for websites that are similar but for… other purposes.

So here we have a woman who already is doing something she does not want to do, and being a total twat to people because she has not bothered to cancel her account, That is Strike Two to how she treated Mr. Finkel’s Strike One. A nice Caesar salad in this meal if you ask me.

The Second thing I want to talk about is the date itself. Now in Alyssa’s defense, she did not say how the date was agreed to. If they agreed to dinner and a show, and Mr. Finkel purchased tickets to Jeffrey Dahmer on Broadway without saying “how about this” that is on him. But part of the lesson here is that if you expect to be swept off your feet by a well hung Dudley Do-Wright on a palomino horse on the first date, I think you need a brief lesson in real life.

In an online dating situation, you got two people busting through imaginary social stigma, and their own insecurities to meet up with each other. The only information the have is their name, and if they are smart a criminal background check. In any first date you should be prepared for everything. By everything I mean Chinese food to bad movies, to heels breaking, and the possibility of drinking too much. If Magic the Gathering has players nicknamed Johnny, Timmy, and Spike, Dating has your, Ted, Marshall, and Barney

Ted is the guy who plays it cool, but deep down wants that long term relationship, ultimately involving you in a white dress.

Marshall is timid, but ultimately wants the same thing as ted, maybe with a little to much more focus.

And Barney is… Well he is Barney.

So Strike three, and a lovely twice baked tater on you Miss Bereznek. Sure there is the wine and the spinach I could have discussed to, but this fine meal of hate should stick to the staples.

What we wanted Mace Windu to say...

Today is Star Wars day and I am feeling Irreverent, so here is a list of things that everyone WANTED Samuel L Jackson to say during his tenure in the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy.

1) BASIC MOTHER-FUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT!

2) This is your father’s Lightsaber, when you absolutely, positively must kill every mother fucker in the room, accept no substitutes

3) Hold on to your Butts, or tentacles, or whatever you got that you sit on.

4) Say try mother fucker! Say try again! I DARE YOU I DOUBLE DARE YOU SAY TRY AGAIN!

5) Use the force bitch!

6) You have reached the desk of Mace Windu, please leave a message after the beep. HEY I SAID AFTER THE BEEP! *Beep* That’s better!

7) Does he look like a nerf? *IGNITES LIGHTSABER* DOES HE LOOK LIKE A NERF!? THEN WHY YOU TRY TO HERD HIM LIKE ONE?

8) Whether or not what we experienced was an According to Yoda miracle is insignificant. What is significant is that I felt the touch of the Force.

9) Not even the Force knows what you're doing!

10) You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a Sith standing in the middle of Courescant wearing a sign that says "I hate Jedi" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.

11) Who was the last person to beat Darth Vader? His mother!

12) Mano a mano? My Lightsaber wants to laugh.

13) I got this young nineteen year old Country girl named Sheronda. I found her on a Starport two days outta Hoth, barefoot, country as a Nerf herd. I took her to my place in Taris, told her it was Courescant.

14) Obi-Wan can tell me any story that comes into his pretty little head, just so long as at the end of that story he hands me my motherfucking Credits.

New Blogs

for my few readers, my Brother in Law, and My friend are gonna try something new and cool.

this Blog is basically the beginning of a bad joke. it is what happens when a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist walk into a bar. a blog where three men discuss, well, anything, and you get to see it happen.

you can find it at thebeginningofabadjoke.blogspot.com

Trippy goo!

Why is it when you get an actual cook book you never use it, but when you get cooking software, suddenly the kitchen is your empire?

*WARNING GENERALIZATION AHEAD*
Why is it that when a woman finds her mans porn collection, she is shocked, appalled, and offended... yet when a man find his woman "I love me" drawer or chest he calls her and asks for a demonstration?
*Generalization ended*

So a Black guy, a woman from San Fransico, and a Mormon are in charge of a country. God Bless America.

Friends help you move, true friends help you move bodies

Beer is in fact beer, and beer is good.

what if the Illuminati and the military industrial complex is nothing more then a n apathetic 90 year old former communist named Bob who is snickering at the crazy ideas "free minded" people have about him.

Aslain is Jesus

I can create a well reasoned legal argument to get out of any crime by saying that I did not have any involvement in the movie "Batman and Robin"

Keep watching the 17 year old in the black trench coat, it will distract you from the big scary guy with the machete

Getting my groove back

Nothing to serious right now. I just noticed this. the woman that lead the majority in the South Carolina Republican Primary has been accused of two seperate extra martial affairs. Maybe it is just my natural sexual attraction to mildy older (10 years) women, but I say rock on.

the previous also republican governor of South Carolina admitted to one affair with an Argentinean woman and was shamed out of office.

that means that so far the number of affairs a person can have before being publicly shamed is 3 to 1 in favor of women.

both my wife and I need to never run for political office.

Cheetos, Toast, and the Man in the Mirror

I have a simple question.

People have been seeing Michael Jacksons image in doors, trees, walls, on ramps, windows, toast, and even cheetos. people have been calling the reaction silly hallucinations.

at the same time, for CENTURIES, people have seen the image of the Virgin Mary, or Jesus Christ in the same objects. These are miracles, and signs of faith to a lot of people (despite the offical word of the Vatican.)

how are these different. the point is people are seeing what they want to see, and it is all a sign of a weak mind looking for some assurance of a great beyond. We seem to have this need to be comofrted, and to know that this life is not all we have.

I have no desire to shatter such beliefs in people, but it is so much mental masturbation that I can not help but laugh.

There she is, Miss Dumbass

So a lot of hullaballo was raised last week that Miss California was set up by a gay man from California in the Q&A section, with a question she could not answer correctly about gay marriage .

I would like to present to you her original and unedited answer to the question "Should every state allow same sex marriage?"

"I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there but that's how I was raised and that's how I think it should be between a man and a woman."

Forget what she was talking about for a second. The Syntax of her statement was horrible, she seemed selfish and arogant, and she blindly trampled over the hot button issue of sexuality being a choice or not which was not the context of the question.

Basically she sounded like a dumb, rich, blond bitch from California.

I would like to present to you what she should have said, and what would have gotten her the title.

Marriage occupies a unique and contradictory place in the culture of the United States of America. Almost universally marriage is a religious institution, yet the federal state and local governments all have legal definitions of marriage. The fact that many of these definitions strictly follow the Judeo-Christian definition may or may not be a violation of the establishment clause of the First Amendment of the constitution of the United States of America.

I was raised in a strictly devout Christian household, and my faith prevents me from personally endorsing same-sex marriage. There are several religions and religious sects however who will recognize same sex couples. Since I am not a member of any of these groups I feel I have no say as to what the legitimacy of their rites are.

While I do not agree that Same Sex couples should be allowed to marry within my own faith, I do think that if government in this country is going to continue to recognize marriage in the form of licenses and tax benefits, that those benefits should be non discriminatory, provided that the marriage ceremony is performed in an established house of God within good standing of that religions hierarchy.

a little wordy, and it might violate time standards in the competition. but it sounds intelligent, and neatly sidesteps the issue of personal beliefs over policy.

Now as for Parez Hilton, not related to Paris as I found out, he was an ass-hat anyway. This openly gay man makes a living on invading the personal lives of celebrities and trying to find out if they are gay or not. he has an impressive record of outing people against their will. For evidence I would recommend logging onto his blog and doing a search for CNN anchor "Anderson Cooper."

I understand WHY he asked the same sex marraige question. He has a personal stake in it and California, in the top 5 of most liberal states in the union is among the states that led this push towards permitting gay people to wed. so asking a Californian about the issue may make a certain amount of sense. it does not change the fact though that we are asking a beauty queen a political question. this is a crew that for nearly a century has been famous for giving six year old answers to thousand year old problems. Asking for a coherent opinion is like asking for a hand job from someone with no hands. it JUST DOES NOT HAPPEN!

my simple sollution to this horrible misunderstanding is that we remove the Q&A section all together. I want to stare at babes in bikini's, watch them do cool useless shit, and be poised. I do not want to hear these little girls talk.

Here is a thought...

I thought a thought that I thought I had thought but the thought that I had thought wasn't the thought that I had thought I had thought so maybe if I had thought the thought that I thought I thought I wouldn't of thought so much. Any thoughts?