Did Anyone Get the Number on That Mack Truck?

Wow my world went upside down and spent the better part of 12 days getting to some semblence of normalcy. First we moved, then there was a dispute over a laundry machine with the folks who bought my old place, then Baby is born (Victor Ian Phelan Bixby, July 17th) and there is still too much damn unpacking to do.

I may only be a week into this whole parenting gig, but it is fun. I marvel at the little wonder Victor is. My mother and father often marveled at how I grew up so fast and unexpededly, and yet when I see my son, I notice the subtle changes that happen day in and out. his hair going lighter then darker, the change in his eyes, the formation of a personality. he makes me wonder if habits that parents have become instincts for the offspring. even at a week old I see many of my wife's and my mannerisims in him. of course, like Images of Michael Jackson in toast, I could be seeing what I want to see, but it is still fascinating.

the only time I have EVER been this exhausted is after a weekend at Gencon in Indianapolis, and at least that is FUN! now find out my mother is headed to town this week for a four day "meet the grandbaby" excursion, which has me aprehensive as all hell.

I do not have a positive relationship with my mother. over the course of my twenty six years of life it took me this long to realize she was very abusive towards those around her. like many families, my father, myself, and other enabled her, not realizing we were feeding whatever circuit that said her behavior was acceptable. that behavior ultimately led to her leaving my Dad, flooding my kid brother with an abandonment issue, and really putting a final nail in the coffin of maintaining a positive relationship with me.

I am caught now between a rock and hard place. I do not want to prevent her from being a grandmother, but at the same time I can not tolerate her treating my son the way she treated me. and frankly if the rumors floating around her siblings about her second husband are true, I do not want him setting foot in my city ever.

hopefully my life will get back to an acceptable form of "normal" soon.