Pointless Bitching about TIm Burton

I am a movie fan, as I think I have intimated at least once here. And I like all sorts of movies. Action, Comedy, Drama, Epics, Fantasy, Horror… you know the genre I can name at least ten films I liked in that genre.

But you know who I don’t like in movies, at all, to the point of generally boycotting them entirely these days? Tim Burton.

I don’t know what it is about this guy, but he has driven me bat shit ever since the Nightmare Before Christmas. Wait I do know what it is about this guy. And I think I will outline it right now.

First off Tim Burton has some serious Daddy Issues. While this was not REALLY prevalent in Beetlejuice or Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure (and I can not comment on Vincent as I have never seen it.) Ever since he directed Batman in 1989, Tim Burton has been really big on daddy issues. In Batman it was I watched my daddy die, in Edward Scissorhands it was Daddy did not finish me, and Nightmare Before Christmas “Daddy controls me to much.” I could go on about other films (Planet of the Apes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Big Fish for example.) but the point is that the theme of Paternal neglect, abandonment and abuse runs rampant through his films.

Secondly there is the strand of Re-Makes and non original IPs that Burton has a hand in that really piss me off. He famously said during the production of 1989’s Batman that he did not need to be familiar with the comic books to make a good batman film. Fortunately it seemed there were others involved in production that steered it in the right direction, but this blasé attitude continues in other films. Mars Attacks was a crappy redo of the infamous Ed Wood flick Plan Nine From Outer Space, despite having little to do with the originals plot (there is an actual Plan Nine Redux in the works right now though that looks spectacular.)

In Planet of the Apes, the visuals were stunning, and the makeup was as fantastically innovative as the original. But the Stranger in a Strange Land idea that made the initial Planet of the Apes so awe inspiring was not there. People point to many specific things, but for me it was that the humans in Burton’s planet retained a sense of intelligence and culture, however suppressed it may be. Compare that to human beings in the Charlton Hesston film who were one step shy of being wild animals. The juxtaposition of a sapient human in a land where it was apes who were sapient was lost right there.

Finally with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Burton Openly messed with greatness. I can not fathom that film other then “Here is Johnny Depp acting kooky!” The visuals were garish, the music was forgettable, and NONE of that magic from the ’71 was ever rendered. Like the candy Willy Wonka made, it was sugary and hollow.

Oh wait, I mentioned Johnny Depp didn’t I? While the performances rendered in Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood were brilliant, showing both subtlety and passion respectively, it seems that Burton is nothing more then the bottom bitch to Mr Depp whenever his bank account runs dry. Only Helena Bonham Carter has appeared in more Burton films over the past decade and that is because she is fucking Burton.

Through all of this I can not say that Mr. Burton is a talentless hack, but his talent just does not show through. The man is a master at cinematography, but he needs to spend more time directing films rather then micromanaging them to meet his acid trip visions. What’s the point of all of this? I really don’t know I just wanted to bitch about Tim Burton, go in peace my friends.